


When Harley met Wade

by MissCellophane



Series: Random Ideas I Had [16]
Category: Deadpool (Comics), Deadpool (Movieverse), Deadpool - All Media Types, Iron Man (Movies), Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Bit of blood and gore because of Wade, But really? No amount of prep prepares you for Deadpool, Canon-Typical Behavior, Canon-Typical Violence, Established Relationship, Humor, I only vaguely remember writing this, M/M, Not Canon Compliant, Old story I found saved somewhere, Peter should really have tried to prepare Harley for Wade, Wade and Peter are besties, White and Yellow get mentioned, barely edited, but no one thought to tell Harley that, crack-ish i guess, harley pov, tell me if I should add any tags, the tags make this sound worse than it is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-20
Updated: 2020-08-20
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:55:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26007598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissCellophane/pseuds/MissCellophane
Summary: Nothing could have prepared Harley for Wade Wilson.Or Peter forgets to mention he’s friends with Deadpool. Deadpool is Deadpool. And Harley nearly faints.
Relationships: Harley Keener/Peter Parker
Series: Random Ideas I Had [16]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1288709
Comments: 4
Kudos: 282





	When Harley met Wade

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don’t own anything.

"Petey-pie!" A bright voice called through the lab.

Peter perked up and turned from his desk, his eyes glittered with excitement.

"DP!" He called back.

Harley furrowed his brows "DP?” He repeated but Peter was already moving to the door and meeting the owner of the voice half-way.

"Petey!" 

Harley watched in a mix of confusion as Peter was scooped up into the strangers arms. The stranger themselves were wearing a dark red and black superhero costume with two swords slung over their back and a few guns in holsters. Peter didn't even seem to notice the weapons as he laughed, hugging the man back.

"Hey. Why didn't you tell me you were gonna be here?" Peter asked, pulling back a bit to look at the man’s masked face.

"We wanted to surprise you!" The man replied brightly.

'We?' Harley thought.

"You did! Tell them I say hi! Oh and Wade make sure Yellow knows If my corn dogs go missing again I'm blaming him."

Ok, so his name was Wade but who was Yellow?

"He said if you didn't want anyone eating them you shouldn't have left them out."

Peter snorted "They were in my fridge. With my name written on it."

"Eh." 

Peter laughed again.

Harley stood up and walked over, clearing his throat.

"Ah right!" Peter flushed slightly as he noticed Harley, "Harley, this is Wade. He's a close friend of mine. Wade this is Harley, my boyfriend."

Wade gasped "Boyfriend? My little boy's growing up!" He exclaimed tugging Peter into another hug and swinging him around.

Peter huffed a laugh, his eyes glittering with amusement "Oh shut up. I'm an adult now!"

"And yet still so cute!" He pressed an obnoxious kiss on Peter's cheek.

"Oh Wade! Gross!" He pretended to grimace, rubbing a hand over the spot.

Wade sniffed dramatically, “My baby boy is growing so fast!” He complained.

”Baby boy?” Harley felt like a broken record. But he was just so confused. Peter had never mentioned a Wade before. Neither had Tony. Speaking of, the door slide open again to reveal a agitated Tony Stark.

”Wade Wilson! What have I said about using a damn door!?”

Wade squeaked and ran behind Peter “Save me Petey-pie!”

Peter sighed “You broke another window didn’t you?” He asked with resigned amusement. 

”A skylight in the conference room. While a meeting was going on! Do you know how many people I had to calm down because of you?”

”You mean how many people Ms.Redhead had to calm down?” Wade corrected.

Tony narrowed his eyes “Dad!” Peter cut in, “Give him a break. He was just excited!”

Tony rolled his eyes “He’s always excited.” He pointed a finger at the red and black clad man, “You are paying me back for that window!”

”You’re a billionaire!” Peter retorted.

”And he's annoying. How you two are even friends I’ll never know.” Tony turned on his heel, “Keep out of the labs Wilson or I’ll throw you out the window again.”

The doors slid shut behind him.

”Glad to know your dad's still the same!” 

Peter snorted "Yeah."

Harley glanced between the two before clearing his throat "It's nice to meet you Wade? I gotta say, Peter's never mentioned ya." 

Wade gasped "Baby boy, how could you!"

Peter rolled his eyes "Don't disappear for months then!" He huffed, "You didn't even send me a text!"

Wade sheepishly rubbed the back of his head "I broke my phone.”

Peter blinked "Broke your phone? That's the twelfth one in less than a year."

"Thirteen!" Wade brightly corrected, “But it's fine. I gotta new one!" He pulled out a bright hello kitty flip phone that looked like it came from the early 2000's.

"Does that even work?" Harley asked looking it over.

"Yeah! Isn't it cute?" Wade proudly held it out for them to see.

Peter's lip twitched upwards in amusement before his eyes narrowed "If you already got a new phone why didn't you text me!"

"We wanted to surprise you! Shut up White, we don't have to tell him that!" Wade argued, "Not you too Yellow!"

He started mumbling to himself and Harley leaned over to Peter "Is-is he okay?"

Peter nodded "Oh yeah. He's just talking to White and Yellow. Just give him a moment."

Who was White and Yellow? Harley wondered.

"Fine! Geez, you guys win." Wade turned back to them, "Okay so I was gonna call as soon as I got back in the country but then I got thrown out a plane, hit the wing on the way down and landed on a gate of this really fancy mansion. Did you know people don't like their weddings being interrupted by someone falling and landing on a spike a few feet away from their guests? Apparently it's traumatizing? Maybe it was all the blood? Or maybe it was because my right leg was nearly falling off? Anyway! After I finally ran away from the mean men with guns I hopped on a train and here I am!" He did the jazz hands.

Harley felt a little sick at the description. Hopefully this man was just kidding. A glance at Peter dashed that hope.

"That doesn't explain not calling me." Peter didn't even look slightly disturbed by the man's statement though his eyes were showing his concern.

"Well, my phone broke on me and it took me a while to find my safe house again. It's really difficult to break into your own place with two broken hands and blood everywhere! Everything was so slippery. Then Yellow said we should surprise you so here we are! Surprise!"

"Wade! you should have come to me! I would have fixed you up better. I bet you didn't even check that you set everything properly."

"Don't worry! I cut off my legs so they grew back fine!" Wade defended.

Harley turned on his heel "Nope."

"Wait Harley! Where are you going?" Peter asked after him.

"To throw up and maybe drink some bleach."

"You should try those little laundry sticks instead! They taste so much better then bleach! Or if you want a more instant effect try-" Wade started to suggest.

"Wade! I have some take out menus in the kitchen, why don't you go order us some?" Peter cut him off with a light flush.

Wade lit up "Hell yeah! Chimichanga's here I come!" He turned on his heel and ran out of the lab.

"Third drawer from the fridge!" Peter called after him just as the door slide shut. 

He then turned an apologetic look on his boyfriend as he finally noticed how pale he was "Sorry Harley. I forget not everybody is as used to Wade as I am."

"It's...fine Darlin'." Harley slumped onto his lab chair.

"No really, I should have warned you." Peter apologized.

Harley sent him a weak grin "S'fine sweetheart." He glanced back at the door "So, Wade huh?"

Peter lit up "Yeah! He's awesome once you get used to him." 

Harley wasn't sure if he would ever get used to Wade but he was willing to try if he made Peter so happy.

**Author's Note:**

> My tumblr: misscellophane-ao3


End file.
